by mariah estran
photo by maddie ludgate
“Even with the rollout of this project, sometimes I catch myself being like, ‘Is this too much?” Thavoron asks himself as we sit on a Zoom call. The singer-songwriter and self-taught producer’s inviting demeanor sets the tone. He’s candid while talking about his new album, Tommy Loves You. "I think that is what I am constantly craving for in other people's art,” he says, sitting in his living room. “Being able to find a part of myself, topics that are hard to talk about and articulate.”
Growing up, Thavoron searched for just a piece of the entertainment universe that looked like him — felt like him. As a queer Cambodian American, that representation was not necessarily overt. “I think, growing up and seeing that — it was something that I wanted for myself so badly,” he shares, adding that it was almost a peculiar manifestation. Feelings quickly transformed into motivation to formulate that space on his own and with music.
“I had been making music secretly since I was sixteen or seventeen,” he confides. Writing became that response to feelings of seclusion while also trying to unwrap the adventure of adolescence. By the time the pandemic hit, there was that unusual push to pursue the project due to the circumstances. He released his album Ugly in 2021. It became a critically acclaimed piece that introduced us to his gift for conjuring raw emotions from start to finish.
Now in 2023, we are brought into the next chapter. Tommy Loves You is an introspective journey that serves as a letter of recognition on growth and understanding. Powerfully opening with “18,” the moving expression describes the impact of past relationships and the traumatic effects they can hold. “That was just a feeling that I had been feeling for so many years, and I didn’t know how to fully pinpoint what it was like,” he explains about the song. Those reflective lyrics heighten as emotive vocals float over a divine intertwine of poignant guitar notes and grand saxophone. “I think through writing that, it was very liberating and cathartic at the same time. I wrote that song during a time I really needed to hear it.”
The album carries these sentiments throughout — a continuous recall of words that remind oneself of self-love, even once unpacking complexities of the past and childhood. “I think all of these songs are very explorative,” Thavoron says. “In terms of fully feeling a feeling, instead of surface level acknowledgment.”
Through seven tracks, he’s delivered raw subjects that might otherwise be sugar-coated or slightly manipulated to soften the blow. Falling too quickly for someone is told in “Struck,” followed by “Nervous,” which exposes the fierce rush of a new romantic encounter. Then, it concludes with “Twin Sized Bed," the observation of when he fell into the arms of isolation and learned to pick himself out of it. Unveiling himself through creating this album ignites a strength to remain open. “The common ethos of the project is finding yourself accepting making mistakes and making wrong decisions — whatever spectrum that lies on,” he adds when depicting what each song means to him.
Initially recording the demos in his bedroom, Thavoron then collaborated with Philip Peterson and Spencer Edgers. They layered an array of striking percussion, cello, and woodwind tones to accentuate his soul-stirring vocals, subsequently transgressing into a heightened, heart-swelling experience that pulls you in. There’s no choice but to live in each moment, each word, because of purposeful sonic emphasis. “It’s finding ways to make it as emotional as possible without feeling out of place,” he says. “I just want to pay respect to each emotion I was feeling and make the listener immersed in that world.”
The realm Thavoron created — Tommy Loves You — tackles the challenge of letting people in. He describes that these songs and stories sit close to his heart. As he allowed himself to produce with others and, ultimately, permitted himself to be open with listeners — a strikingly organic collection is made. “I’m always about whether I can make people feel seen by my music or feel validated,” he says, thinking about the possible impact.
This well-rounded homage to the past; and who he is becoming and going next is why the album title contains ‘Tommy.’ The middle name he grew up using to feel ‘normal,’ not yet recognizing the culturally assimilating nature. Thavoron has reclaimed these feelings and salvaged them to create a project that includes us in the reflective endeavor.
“What I want people to take away from the project, in general, is kind of that inner love from your inner child is over-encompassing over every arch of your life,” he says about the album. “It’s important to make space for that — the capacity to be selfless.”
As he mentions his childhood, he concludes with final words to his past self, dedicated to Tommy: “Never stop being yourself, and never stop loving hard because you’re going to learn so much about yourself through that and in others, in whatever form that exists.”