by mariah estran
photo courtesy of nolo grace
From a New York City corporate executive to an emerging pop artist, Nolo Grace has found her voice. Through the brazen new single “Miss Perfect,” we’re taken on a journey of self-reflection. A reminder that accepting yourself is the perfection of its own.
The singer says on the track: “Over the past few years, I’ve worked to deprogram myself of that kind of thinking and realize that my worth has nothing to do with my achievements. My worth — everyone’s worth — is intrinsic.”
The song’s lyrics elaborate on that mental breakthrough. She recites words of how she lost herself while fighting for an ideal image. While the visual, directed by Sasha Rivero, is set in a 1950s home, trimmed with unrealistic standards. By the end, the characters are seen breaking free, dancing, and being just themselves.
“For me, the message and my story are the most important aspects of my music, and it’s important that I share a positive and helpful perspective with the world,” she says.
We spoke with Nolo Grace to get more insight on “Miss Perfect” and her own story. She tells us about her background, creating the music video, producing the single, and what she hopes her music does for others.
You’ve recently released “Miss Perfect,” the empowering video and single about accepting who you are and reimagining the concept of being perfect. Why was it important to you to write such a bold, anthem-worthy track such as this?
Nolo: “The song is definitely a statement, and I’m communicating with myself as much as I am with the world. I had to step out of my comfort zone to make this song, and that was part of the process of me embracing the message. Some of the significant lyrics in the song are, ‘I lost myself, couldn’t see myself, always living for somebody else,’ and ‘Trying to be Miss Perfect, wasn’t really worth it, found myself unearthing what I was already deserving... found my own perfection by accepting my reflection.’
Many of us work so hard to live up to impossible standards, and as a result, we never feel good enough. We never feel that anything we do is enough. Over the past few years, I’ve worked to deprogram myself of that kind of thinking and realize that my worth has nothing to do with my achievements. My worth — everyone’s worth — is intrinsic. The way we feel inside is then mirrored back at us in the situations we attract into our lives. I had to lose my addiction to hardship, worries, and struggle. I’m still working on it because it’s been ingrained in me for so long.
At the moment when I wrote the song, I was specifically reflecting on my old life as a corporate executive in NYC — all the worries, stress, and struggles tied up in the high-powered and fast-paced life and career I was leading at that time. I was desperate for answers and change, but I was also out-of-touch with myself. Over the past few years, I’ve been on a journey to completely reinvent my life. The major shifts I’ve experienced have come from changes in my thought process, including letting go of impossible standards and learning to listen to and accept myself. We often look externally for answers because we don’t prioritize our own wisdom, but the reality is that we truly are the only people who know what is best for ourselves. We all have a unique path.”
The video for the single continues to display that “ideal life." However, you incorporate the obstacles women of color face while being held to high and unattainable standards. What was the process like while developing this visual?
N: “I knew I wanted to play on the 50s theme without it being too on the nose. I had a lot of fun working on it with the director, Sasha Rivero, and DP, Tammy Santos. I’ve always been fascinated with identity — what it is, how it gets formed, and how gender, race/ethnicity, language, class, and other factors are constructs that determine so much of our lives. Maybe it’s because I spent my life constantly feeling different from other people.
For me, the idealized context in the video encouraged conformism and homogeneity. You see us breaking free of those standards as the video progresses. I’m really grateful for the talented team who worked with me on this project. It was an incredible amount of work to write up the treatment, production design, style, and finalize everything, all the way through to getting the right film grain look on the color grade.”
You’ve had your own experience pursuing perfection, just as many women have. You attended an Ivy League school and worked on Wall Street. Now, you’ve transitioned to music and found a way to express your emotions through your work. How has music helped you find your voice and identity?
N: “Well, I think of it as a mutually reinforcing process. The process of recovering my voice led me back to my passion for music. It’s really what I always wanted to do, but for most of my life, I ignored it. I had so many fears and limiting beliefs. As for expressing my emotion in my music, I think I’m still in the process of unlocking that side of myself. I’ve been in environments where it wasn’t safe or where it was weak to express emotion, whether at home, in relationships, or in my career. Music is technical, of course, but to me, it’s also primal in the way it transports and conveys emotion.
I love how magical and limitless it is. The production, writing, expression, and delivery. There are so many variables, so many ways to experiment, so many unexpected outcomes. I absolutely love it. One of the things I struggled with was the overall sound and direction of my project. I have always struggled with being someone who wants to do everything. I think that expansiveness will come with time. I’m trying not to rush it. I want to trust and enjoy the process of it unfolding.”
Through the two singles you’ve released, you’re showcasing this electronic, alternative-pop sound. What has the production process been like for you?
N: “The production process for ‘Wake Up’ was extremely involved while ‘Miss Perfect’ came together pretty quickly and effortlessly. The instrumental track for ‘Wake Up’ was made during a session I had with my collaborator BlakeQuake. He’s really talented at capturing an emotion, and I was inspired to write a song to my inner child. I took the production from there and went through many different rounds experimenting with layers, drums, and vocals. That was early in the quarantine, so I was working on my own. My husband, Martin Wave, is also a producer. At the time, I was private with my music and didn’t share it with him. I thought of it as my own oasis in a way, and I’d work on it with headphones in our apartment or at 6am while he was sleeping. I eventually did open up over time, and he was inspired to work on the production with me. We made a version together and made yet another version with Sean Kingston featuring on the song. The way I work tends to be iterative in that way, working on a song for a period of time on my own and then working with others to finalize or elevate it. I love producing, but it’s still relatively new to me, so it can be time-consuming and meandering at times.”
As you continue to release singles, how will the rest of your music continue to showcase these empowering themes?
N: “I feel like I’ve gone through a personal revolution in the way that I think and experience life. It’s been so transformative for me that I can’t imagine those messages, practices, and experiences being part of my music for a long time to come. For me, the message and my story are the most important aspects of my music, and it’s important that I share a positive and helpful perspective with the world. I was raised by strict Korean immigrant parents and had a difficult and violent childhood. I escaped that and ended up succeeding in the corporate world, but I internalized a way of living marked by hardship, worries, and struggle. I thought that my ability to be tough and to push myself harder than others could was a mark of strength, but I realize now that it was a disorder. Over the past few years, I’ve learned how to live from a more positive place and positive vision of myself. Reflecting on how stuck and hopeless I’ve felt in the past, I know that change comes from within — from listening to yourself and changing your inner dialogue. I dream of a world where everyone follows their heart and shows love to themselves and others, and that’s a theme I’m sure I will continue to write about. As I mentioned, it’s important for me that music feels expansive, so I’ll probably also explore many other themes, but that will continue to be an important one.”
What advice would you give to your listeners and even fellow artists who are struggling with keeping up with idealistic standards?
N: “My advice is to remember to do what makes you truly happy. Ask yourself what you want. Journal, meditate, or take up practices that help you get closer to your own voice, not the voice of other people’s expectations. Always try your best, but don’t sacrifice your wellbeing in the process. Remember to celebrate yourself, and celebrate the small wins.”
